End of Week 2 - Weigh In!

This morning I weighed in and was down 3 more pounds!  It’s  not much, but it’s better than nothing!  I’m going to make sure to get in as much exercise time this week as I can to maximize my weight loss this week.  I want to see that 5 pounds loss again!!  Thursday is Thanksgiving though….which makes me SUPERRRR nervous lol.  But I think I can handle it.  I think I will be ok.  I’m getting used to eating smaller portions now and it’s awesome because I don’t even have to really think about it anymore.  It’s becoming second nature to just put a little on my plate instead of a lot.

Even though I am doing pretty good so far, I gotta say…..this is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Losing weight is hard.  Changing your mind frame and how you think about food is HARD.  Giving up things you enjoyed eating before is HARD.  Counting calories is HARD.  Exercising when you don’t feel like it is HARD.  But seeing those numbers going down every week on that scale is totally worth it.  The end result is worth it. 

The Cold Hard Truth

I was browsing through some of the blogs that I follow today and I came across a post that really put things into perspective for me.  It lays out on the table things that we already know, but don't want to say.  It calls out our BS and tells us to wake up and be accountable.  This blog was exactly what I needed to read this morning.  I would like to share it with you in hopes that you will be empowered to CHANGE just as I was.


This blog post is from www.priorfatgirl.com and is copied from Jen's posts.

You are unhealthy.

by Jen, a priorfatgirl on November 10, 2011

You are unhealthy.
Do something about it.

It is as easy as it sounds. And as hard as it sounds. I know. I KNOW this. I did it. And I continue to fight for what I’ve worked to accomplish. You think this is so easy? You think your “hard” is any different than my “hard?” Get over yourself. Suck it up and do something about it.

Stop waiting to hit rock bottom. THIS IS YOUR ROCK BOTTOM. This is your life and you are letting it pass by you. The decisions YOU make result in your life. Changing your life means changing your life.  It is as easy as it sounds. And as hard as it sounds. I know. I KNOW this. I did it.

Don’t put the blame on me like I should have helped you. Like I should have patted you on the back and encouraged you to keep going. Don’t whine and complain that you had some flippin’ excuse because guess what? I’ve had my fair share of excuses. In two years, my mom died without me getting to say goodbye, my dad started dating 6 weeks later, I switched jobs TWICE, our house was destroyed by a tornado and now I’m planning a wedding without my mom and might have to walk myself down the isle because I don’t know if I can go to my dad’s wedding when he marries his most recent fiance 6 weeks before my wedding, {original sentence in published post deleted}. You think your “hard” is any different than my “hard?” Get over yourself.

You are unhealthy.
Do something about it.
Or don’t do anything about it.

Continue to live life as you have and get what you’ve always gotten. But don’t you dare complain. Don’t you dare waste your breath crying about something you are CHOOSING to do. Don’t you dare come to me and whine when you don’t want to fight through the hard.You are making your own choices so stop weeping when you don’t like the results. Smile because you made the choice.

Live your life. Stand up and be proud of your decisions. Live your choices and be proud.

This is your life. Love it or change it.

How can you read this and NOT want to do something?  How can you read this and not think to yourself, "What an idiot I have been."  I have wasted so much time making excuses.  

I don't have time to work out.

I don't have time to eat healthy.

Healthy foods are expensive.

I indulged because it was a special occasion.

I had a traumatic event.

The list goes on and on.  Any excuse you can think of, I used it to justify allowing myself to get to the weight that I reached.  Granted, some of it was out of my hands (depo provera....stayyyy awayyy) but the majority of the blame is mine and mine alone.  Eating is an addiction, just like alcohol and drug addiction.  The outcome is obesity, just like alcoholism and drug abuse.  The first step to recovering and changing your life is to ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY.  Hold yourself accountable for what you have done in the past and then decide how you are going to fix it.

My favorite part of that post is "This is your life.  Stand up and be proud of your decisions.  Live your choices and be proud.  This is your life.  Love it or change it."

So today, I'm proud of the decisions that I have made in these past few weeks.  I'm changing my life so that one day I CAN love it.  Not just parts of it, but all of it.....and myself. 

End of Week 2

Tomorrow is the start of week three and I’m super nervous about weigh in tomorrow morning.  I haven’t felt the same this week on the Phen as I felt last week so I’ve been afraid of the scale.  Last week I’m sure I weighed myself at least a hundred times because I just knew something was working, but this week…..I’m a little doubtful.  I guess I’ll find out in the morning when I step on that scale.  I just hope that the numbers go down instead of up.  I will probably be just as upset if they stay the same as I would if they went up.  So let’s hope for a good outcome!

I feel like I have still been doing a good job on making wise food choices and staying within my calorie allowance for the day.  So I guess that either the Phen is still curbing my appetite or I’m learning to do it on my own.  Or both.  Either way, this is a positive.  I’ve been slacking on writing stuff down, so I’ve got to get back on track with that.  I’ve kind of just been keeping up with it in my  head, which I know is not as good.  So this week I will focus on getting that back under control.

I’m going to start setting mini goals for myself because I feel like it’s easier to meet those than to think about the big picture.  So my first mini goal is 10 pounds.  Last week when I weighed in, I was down by 5 pounds, so I’m halfway there!  Once I reach that goal, I will go from there!

In other news, I went to see The Rockettes last night……AMAZING!  I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome the show was.  My favorite part was the live nativity complete with camels and sheep.  It was beautiful.  Brought tears to my eyes.  Great family show, if you haven’t seen them, I HIGHLY recommend it.  In all, there were 6 scenes.  The dancers were pristine!  Not a kick out of place, very well trained and talented!  The special effects were out of this world.  During one scene, the girls are dancing on a tour bus and the back screen is showing the streets of New York around Times Square.  The wheels on the tour bus are moving and so is the screen behind it, so it seems as though you are literally driving through New York city.  I don’t want to go into too much detail because I don’t want to ruin it for someone who has not seen the show yet and is planning to.   

Now I’m trying to get tickets to go see The Christmas Story Musical!  That is my all-time favorite Christmas movie EVER!!!  Turning it into a musical, GENIUS!  I think I have found a new love.  Broadway shows!  So look forward to hearing more about the shows! 

Amazing Weight Loss Story

Reading this story is definitely inspiring.  I'm complaining about my 80 pounds that I need to lose.  This woman has worked her butt off and lost 280 pounds!  I should stop complaining and get to work!


OMAHA, Neb. -- When it comes to losing weight, diet and exercise seem to be the key. And Natalie Strawn is seeing the results. She's lost half of her body weight and keeps losing more.
Strawn said her motivation started while watching a talk show. A woman who wanted to be the heaviest in the world weighed less than Strawn did."This journey has really been hard. Well, it hasn't been hard. It's been difficult," Strawn said.The difficult journey was made easier with smaller, manageable milestones.

Before Pictures

"I've kind of looked at it as a one decision at a time thing. Instead of, 'Oh my gosh, I have to lose 300 pounds,' I think of it as, 'I have to lose five pounds. Then I have to lose another five pounds. And then I have to lose another five pounds,'" Strawn said.The 20-year-old joined Weight Watchers at age 17, attending meetings every week. She marks her progress using a video blog she shares online.Now, down more than 280 pounds, she's well on her way to her goal and serves as an inspiration to those around her -- including her Weight Watchers leader."I tell people that I have a member who has lost 282 pounds. It's just very eye opening and awakening to them because they think, 'If she can do it, I can do it,'" Lisa Ostbye said.Strawn's advice is to make the change for yourself on your own time."Do it when you're ready. You'll know when you're ready," Strawn said.She said once you start, just keep going. Strawn said exercise is part of her daily routine, walking two miles each day.Strawn recently completed her first 5K, which is a big accomplishment after starting her workout with chair aerobics.Strawn said she's about 100 pounds away from her final goal.

Read more: http://www.ketv.com/health/29789203/detail.html#ixzz1e4Wu2mD8

Ughhhhhh......

The past two days I haven’t felt like the Phen is working.  It has not suppressed my hunger the way that it did the first week.  I’m getting a little discouraged because I feel like I’m getting cheated.  I tried taking it on an empty stomach this morning to see if it made a difference and so far I haven’t really noticed much of a difference.  Guess I will just keep taking it and hope that eventually it will kick in again??  Ugh.  SO FRUSTRATING!  Why does losing weight have to be so freakin hard!!

Anyway, aside from that.  I just learned that a Jawbreaker has 130 calories!  Good grief!!  All those calories in that teeny tiny piece of candy.  Who knew?

Hey, it's ok Tuesday

Stealing this idea from a friend's blog!  So now I have something to look forward to every Tuesday (in addition to my weekly weigh ins haha).  So first, let me explain this to you so you don't sit there with your brow furrowed looking all confused.  It goes like, this...... you start out by saying "Hey, it's ok...." and then follow it up by things that it's ok to be ok with!  haha.  So here goes....

Hey, it's ok....

....to secretly like the Fresh Beat Band song "Here We Go" and to be sad that they stopped playing it on Nick Jr, although you do kind of like the new song "Friend Like You"

....to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving

....to think that starting Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving is STUPID.  People should be able to spend that day with their family...not have to work.  It's called Black FRIDAY....not Black Thursday and Friday.

....to be tired of hearing about the Occupy Wall Street protestors.  At first I thought they were doing something...but as it turns out, no

....to wonder why the heck Casey Anthony's name is showing up on the news websites....ummm the trial is over and she is nobody....so let's stop acting like she is a celebrity.  She's just a psychopath who killed her daughter and got away with it

....to really wish that you could have a big, giant, cheesy, greasy, slice of pizza when you know you can't because you are on a 1200 calorie restriction and that one piece of pizza would probably be all of those 1200 calories

That's all I can come up with right now.  Til next week!

Week 2 Goals and other thoughts....

Today marks the end of week 1 and the beginning of week 2.  While week 1 went great, I want week 2 to go GREAT!  So my goals for this week are as follows:

1.  Eat between 1100-1200 calories each day
2.  Exercise for two hours each day (collectively, not necessarily all at once)
3.  Do not eat after 6pm.

I lost 5 pounds last week, I am hoping to lose at least that much again this week!

I'm a little concerned about the upcoming holidays.  In hindsight I probably picked the most difficult time of year to decide to start a diet lol.  First there is Thanksgiving followed by Christmas.  The two days of the year when we eat the most food.  I'm really hoping that I don't screw up my whole diet on those two days.  I want to enjoy all the good food, but I want to be able to do it with restraint.  This will be a good test of my will power if nothing else!

Even without the holidays in the picture, I am incredibly afraid of failing this.  I have tried to overcome obesity for so long that I kind of feel like this is it.  This is my last chance.  I don't want to be trapped in this body for the rest of my life.  I want to be able to feel good about myself and the way I look.  Not only that, I want to be healthy and to feel good physically as well.  I have a child and a husband to consider now.  It is not just about me anymore.  It scares me to death to think about where I might be 10 years from now if I don't do something about this now.  So I'm going to give this all I've got.  I have amazing friends and family that love and support me on this journey and I feel so amazingly blessed to have them all cheering me on.  Without them I would probably just lie down and give up.  And believe me, there are plenty of times just in one day where I would love to do just that because it's much easier than what I"m doing now.....but I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.